Haunting Refrain Read online

  “Who do you think you are, telling me what to do?”

  Her fighting stance was familiar. Any other time her hands- on-hips pose would’ve made him smile. He usually loved sparring with her. Today it frustrated him.

  “I choose my own dates, William.” she said.

  “Sarah, the guy is trouble. The Jackson clan is always into dirty dealing schemes.”

  William had protected Sarah for as long as he could remember and he wasn’t about to stop. He rubbed his temple to relieve the throbbing pain and tried to unclench his jaws. “Jacksons are not to be trusted, Princess.”

  “William McKeown, you’re soo jealous. He’s handsome, not pretty. He’s also intelligent and witty. And his name’s Peter.”

  William was sure he’d throw up if she said another positive thing about that guy. And he was not jealous, either.

  “...and always a gentleman,” she finished.

  “I’m telling you, watch out for the jerk. Don’t you trust me? I haven’t steered you wrong yet, have I?” William sat down on the big porch swing. He motioned with his head for her to join him. He loved it when she wore that talk-me-into-it smile. She’d worn that look plenty of times, just before she tried some new stunt he suggested. “Come on, sit with me,” he coaxed. “We’ll talk about other things.”

  Sarah rolled her eyes, sighed, and slid onto the swing. “You know you’re my best friend. You’ve always tried to keep me safe, but you can’t do that forever. I’m twenty-seven years old, a college instructor, a grown woman. I’m not helpless. I have to do some things on my own.”

  “Was I wrong about George?” he asked.

  Sarah shrugged. “I was in the eighth grade. He was like most boys in the tenth grade. He wanted to try out his wings and hoped a younger girl would be easy.” She grinned. “My parents wouldn’t let me date yet, anyway.”

  “I was right, though. It wasn’t his wings he wanted to try. What about Bobby Smith? Was I wrong about him?”

  “No, William, you were right, he wanted me to do his homework. He wasn’t interested in me.” She could smile about it now. Bobby sold used cars and had three loud kids and a nagging wife. Served him right.

  “What about the fraternity party you went to, after I warned you that you were too young to be there?” He wasn’t jealous. He was just looking after her, dammit!

  “My soft drink was doctored. You got there before things went too far. You didn’t have to scare four guys, though. They’d have been in trouble with the school for serving liquor to a minor and for possession of alcohol on campus, anyway.”

  “I put the fear of God in them. I never heard rumors about their doing anything like that again. They’d have been kicked out if we’d reported them. Instead they graduated with honors. They certainly said ‘Yes, sir’ a lot, even though I was just a graduate assistant at the time.”

  Sarah tilted her head. There was that same stray lock of reddish-gold hair, again. It seemed to fall across her eyebrow to get his attention. He brushed it from her forehead.

  “Ah, Sarah, those guys weren’t right for you. I know you. Remember, I was at your house the day they brought you home as a newborn. You were the first baby I ever thought was cute.”

  “You were seven and you probably thought all babies were ugly, anyway. I was probably just a fluke.” Sarah was blushing. “At least you didn’t change my diapers.”

  He’d never thought about it that way. He’d taught her to ride her first bike. She’d trusted him then. He’d felt so grown up and wise when she turned those doe-eyes on him. He’d have done anything she’d asked.

  “William, you never thought any boy was good enough for me. Is there a man who’s good enough for me?”

  “Of course there is, somewhere. You don’t have to settle for anyone but the best. When you meet the right man, I won’t stand in your way. I’ll dance at your wedding.”

  Suddenly the thought of any man making love to his Sarah hurt. He wanted to pull her close as he had so many times before, but this time he had to fight the odd urge to kiss her pouting lips. She was so warm, so right tucked under his arm. He wanted to kiss her until she couldn’t think about any other man.

  “Damn,” he muttered. He hadn’t felt like this with Sarah before. For the past few months he’d had some strange dreams about her. The Sarah in his dreams had worn virginal white, but had seduced him with her sensuality alone.

  He could never have shared a sleeping bag with that different Sarah and left her untouched. It didn’t seem right. She’d always been his best buddy, like a younger sister. He’d have to resist the strange urges until they went away.

  Maybe it was time for a new woman in his life. He hadn’t had good luck with relationships. Women had offered diversions, but none had found a place in his heart. He’d ditched Muriel after two years. Muriel didn’t ski, so he’d taken Sarah skiing in Tennessee. When Muriel had accused him of having the hots for Sarah he’d broken off with the jealous woman. Now her accusations didn’t seem so far-fetched.

  “Sarah,” The husky sound of his voice surprised him. “you’re so innocent. I don’t want you to get hurt.” His heart pounded as her breathing seemed to change. He had to look away from her eyes. Her mouth was the wrong place to look, too. When her tongue darted out to dampen her bottom lip, his temperature rose by twenty degrees.

  Sarah turned him. Fire flashed in her eyes. “I’m not all that innocent.”

  “What--, I mean, who was it? I’ll break his head.” William was livid. “Was it that jock you dated your senior year in high school? I thought we decided you wouldn’t give in to him. I told you he’d respect you for waiting.”

  He watched her shake her head. “I hope it wasn’t that Jones guy. He was a loser. You’re too pretty to settle for just any guy.” She was beautiful. She was grown up and she made him feel things he’d never felt before. He wanted her, but they were best friends. He couldn’t lust over his buddy, his pretend sister.

  Sarah watched as William’s expression changed from angry to confused. She’d cried on William’s shoulder when her grandmother had died, when she got braces, when the football captain stood her up, and when her iguana nearly died. He knew about each person who had ever hurt her feelings and every boy who‘d tried to push her toward sex. He’d advised her, warning her away from the guys who weren’t right for her.

  Now she wondered if he’d been unwilling to let her fall in love with another man. As strange as it seemed, he acted like he wanted her for himself. No way. He’d taught her to play board games before she could read. He was not supposed to look as if he wanted to kiss her. She shouldn’t want him to kiss her.

  Stranger, yet, when he’d looked into her eyes she’d felt her nipples tighten and that heavy sensation had settled in her womb. She did want him to kiss her, and that scared the crap out of her. William was her best friend, her confidante, her big brother. He was her friend and she wanted it to stay that way. She’d had boyfriends. They didn’t last. William had been there for her forever. Her dreams about the handsome pirate last night had triggered her arousal. Yeah, that was the problem.

  “Come to the concert on campus with me, Sarah. We’ll take a picnic lunch. We’ll eat under the trees near the chapel. It’ll be fun. We haven’t done that in a long time.”

  “You should’ve mentioned it earlier.” Sarah hated it when William looked so disappointed. He was good at making her feel guilty. At the moment, that wasn’t all he made her feel.

  “I hope your plans don’t include Peter Jackson. Please don’t go out with him again.”

  ##

  The restaurant was full for seven-thirty on a Wednesday night. The one, really classy restaurant in town was usually quiet when people had prayer meetings at church.

  Sarah smiled at the man across the table. There was never a blond hair out of place, unlike William’s slightly mussed, black hair. William was right, sort of. Peter was almost pretty. His eyes were so blue she wondered if he wore colored contacts.

&
nbsp; She knew William didn’t wear contacts because she’d seen how blind his emerald eyes were when he’d lost his glasses water rafting. She smiled, remembering driving William’s restored vintage Mustang back through the mountains and half way down the state of Georgia. The poor, nearly-blind man had been fit-to-be-tied. No one drove his pride and joy. It would have been funny, if William hadn’t been so distraught.

  But Peter was her date and he was looking at her with adoration. He deserved her attention. She stared at his mouth as he talked nonstop.

  “Sarah? Do I have food on my face?”

  “No.” She shook her head, watching as he picked up a clean knife and studied his reflection.

  Peter’s teeth were almost too straight. Maybe they were capped. His smile dazzled, like the men in toothpaste commercials. And she hadn’t heard a word he’d said. “Sorry, Peter. I didn’t catch your question.”

  “Am I boring you, Sarah?” He looked as though he didn’t think he could be boring.

  “No, of course not. I just had a long hard day. Now, what were you saying?” she asked. Maybe the snowy white linen tablecloth with matching napkins had been wasted on her tonight. The silver and crystal glistened in the candlelight. She couldn’t give her dinner companion the attention he deserved.

  “I asked if you’d care for dessert. You did not eat much of your meal. The French Silk pie is heavenly.

  “I’m too full, I couldn’t eat another bite, but you have some. I don’t mind.” Sarah reassured him.

  “Then we can dance. I’ve dreamed of dancing with you, of holding you.” His voice was low, suggestive, flattering.

  The waitress looked more than willing to serve Peter. Her smile was a bit too large when she looked at him, which she did anytime she neared their table. She acted willing to do more. Most women seemed envious of her when she was with Peter, who seemed oblivious to their attention. What could William not like about Peter? They were both athletic and intelligent. They were also fun to be around. By all rights, they should be friends.

  ##

  William couldn’t believe he’d called to find out if Sarah’s mother knew where Sarah and Jackson planned to go. Oh, he’d been subtle. His years of studying psychology had taught him a thing or two about getting information. The concert on campus had lost its appeal when Sarah turned down his invitation.

  I can’t believe I, university psychology professor, came to this restaurant to watch Sarah. Can I help it if this table offers a good view of her table? He’d hidden behind a plant where he no longer needed the excuse of studying the large menu. Might as well wear a trench coat while I play amateur sleuth. He’d pay if she saw him there alone, especially after he’d mentioned the concert. He couldn’t help himself. He really did have a bad feeling about the Jackson guy.

  William was tired of watching the jerk leer at Sarah while she lapped it up. Couldn’t a woman tell when she was being finessed? The man wanted her body, plain and simple.

  Old Pete looks wimpy to me. Look at the way she keeps looking into his lying eyes. Doesn’t he ever stop talking? Probably thinks he’s funny. I couldn’t say a word if I had to watch her eat. Her mouth was sexier tonight than William had ever noticed. Maybe she was wearing a new lipstick color. Maybe he was looking for excuses. He didn’t want to stare, but he couldn’t help himself. Heal thyself, psychologist, he paraphrased. Maybe he was too close to the situation.

  William couldn’t believe he was reacting so strongly. Sarah had followed him around. She had confided in him, trusted him.

  Professor William adjusted the wire frame of his glasses that refused to stay up on his nose. He’d never felt such blinding jealousy before and he didn’t like it, not one little bit. Had jealousy been the reason he hadn’t approved of any of the other guys who’d spent time with her? Nah, it couldn’t be. He was still looking out for his little Sarah. But tonight she seemed different. She was a woman, not a young girl, and his body had known it before his head did.

  ##

  Sarah had looked around the room several times since the meal began. The hair on the back of her neck warned she was being watched, though she hadn’t noticed anyone staring at her. It was probably William’s fault. He’d ruined her evening, making her suspicious, and he wasn’t even there. She’d been distracted since their strange conversation on the porch swing.

  “Sarah, dear? Are you all right? You seem distracted about something. Can I help?”

  “Thanks anyway, but I’m thinking about all the papers I still have to grade.”

  Peter took a long d rink from his water glass, then waved for the waitress, indicating he needed their bill. “Maybe I should take you home. We’ll have other nights for dancing.”

  “Thanks, Peter.” Sarah smiled as she reached across the small table to touch his arm. “May I take a rain check?”

  Chapter Two

  Peter had been a perfect gentleman. At her door he reached for her house key to let her in. They didn’t linger on the porch, as she and William would have, but he did kiss her good night. His kiss was warm, respectful - not exactly thrilling, but nice - like being kissed by a friend. Actually, his lips were rougher than she had expected and kinda dry.

  The warm evening was too pleasant to go inside so soon. Sarah sat on her porch, leaning against the brick support. The sky was full of stars. At least she could see them here, unlike in larger cities, like Macon. Here she absorbed their splendor.

  She closed her eyes, soaking in the night sounds and scents. An image formed in her thoughts. Broad shoulders, tanned arms. Warm brandy flavored breath caressed her face as a man’s heat touched her. Firm, moist lips touched hers. Her breathing became fast and shallow. All her daydreams and fantasies became one overwhelming need as her lips responded to the kiss. Strong hands touched her cheeks, caressed her neck, then held her shoulders. His woodsy scent intoxicated her.

  If this had been real, Sarah would’ve stopped the hands that moved to her waist.

  Had Peter come back? He never smelled woodsy. No, she was dreaming the sexy dream. She wouldn’t open her eyes and wake up. Her phantom lover smelled like William. Her heart raced when he kissed first one cheek, then the other.

  “Sarah!” His voice was low as he moaned her name over and over. “I’ve never felt this way before, Princess.” His lips were gentle when he kissed her mouth. “My Sarah.”

  “William?” The dream was too real. No. A man was kissing her. “William!” Her body wanted to continue what her mind knew shouldn’t be happening. “Stop.” William’s scent surrounded her.

  “Sarah, are you all right?” The hoarse voice startled her. William’s broad hands bracketed her face as she leaned against the brick. Her chest hurt as she tried to regain control of her breathing. Her eyes focused on the face she had always found comforting. William looked as confused as she felt.

  “Sarah.” His voice sounded strange to his own ears. His heart had stopped when he’d seen Sarah sitting alone on her porch. He tried to make sense of his reaction when he’d seen her bathed in the moonlight. He’d seen a desirable woman he craved, not the child he’d tried to protect.

  He’d wanted her with a force so strong he’d nearly taken her in his arms and kissed her senseless. He hadn’t realized the intensity of his need or his hunger. She’d looked like the woman in his dreams, a wanton angel, innocent, yet knowing – helpless, but able to make a man give up his soul to possess her. God help him, he was in trouble.

  William had done what he’d needed to do since he’d seen her, moonlight caressing her face. He’d wanted to bury his face in her hair, needed to taste her skin. Her warm breath was an aphrodisiac. His lips parted as they touched hers with reverence. He’d known they would be sweet.

  In his dreams she kissed him with passion.

  Suddenly she yanked from his embrace.

  Bewildered at his loss of control, he gazed into her flashing eyes.

  “What the hell did you think you were doing?” Sarah demanded, “Tell me!”


  William was unable to speak as he drank in her beauty. God, she was more magnificent than ever. He’d always admired her temper, but passion enhanced her beauty. The fire flashing in her eyes made him want to feel her passion in real lovemaking. But he would never do that.

  She scrambled away, but he held her hand so she couldn’t move away completely.

  “Sarah, you‘re lucky I found you out here. You should know better than to sit outside alone at night.”

  “What?” Sarah trembled with fury. “You are telling me you kissed me as a lesson to be careful?”

  “I hadn’t counted on the kiss going so far.”

  “You practically manhandled me. Bull--”

  “What would your students think?” William was grasping for straws. She apparently hadn’t realized she was kissing him. What had she imagined and with whom? He needed to talk about anything, but how she made him feel, made him want.

  “I don’t know. What would yours think about their marauding, professor?”

  “Now, Princess.”

  “I’m not talking to my students. I’ll say whatever I want to. What’ll you do about it, huh?”

  William stifled a smile. “I should wash your mouth out with soap. It wouldn’t be the first time, remember?” No way could he could touch her now and remain sane.

  “That was twenty years ago.” Her eyes narrowed. “You’re not that foolish.” She sat up straighter and taller. “And to think, you warned me about Peter. He was a perfect gentleman.” And he didn’t make me feel half the things you did. ”I trusted you.”

  “I didn’t mean to scare you. Please go inside. I can’t leave you out here. We both have to work tomorrow.”